Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
