and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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