But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Randomize