my mouth tastes like poor choices
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize