pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
