I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize