Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
