butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
