I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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