whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
