what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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