Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
