Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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