Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
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