did you get engaged???
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
