I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Can Purell be used as lube?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
