what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize