my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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