everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
They have beer where we have blood.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize