fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
