i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
