Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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