i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she looked like the before picture.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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