i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
