During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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