PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
