Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
