Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Randomize
