He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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