no, he came in my armpit
i may or may not be watching the land before time
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
