Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
