I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
