so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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