I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
