I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
he's gonorrhea incarnate
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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