The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
