thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
