How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
