Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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