I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
