it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
