party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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