Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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