Christians are straight up FREAKS
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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