I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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