I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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