Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Come back. Shots need mouths.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
