in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
