you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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