I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize