I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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