This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
