this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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