North Korea, Best Korea!
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
